Tuesday 3 October 2017 by Lucas Wilde

ISIS claim responsibility for Indiana Jones IV


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After bringing some much-needed comic relief to the Las Vegas shooting by suggesting the lone gunman was a convert to their cause, which is bollocks even to InfoWars fans, ISIS has had another go at claiming responsibility for something it obviously didn’t do.

“And we also wrote, produced and directed the fourth Indiana Jones film that you all hated,” confirmed ISIS spokesperson Simon Williams.

“We took something you loved, something that stood for everything that made the West great, and we put Shia Labeouf in it.

“We made him swing through trees with monkeys that appeared to be helping him, we made him Harrison Ford’s son and then we suggested that he would be taking over the franchise.

“Then we ended the film with some bullshit about aliens.

“If anything was going to kill the spirit of Western democracy, it was that film. We’re very proud of it.”

Film fan Jay Cooper said, “lol yeah, ok then…

“I’ve been blaming George Lucas for that pile of shit for the last nine years and I’m not about to stop now.”

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