Monday 2 October 2017 by Neil Tollfree

UKIP to start search for leader to replace newly-elected leader Henry Bolton


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Comedy red-faced angry man party UKIP have announced their intention to immediately begin the search for a new leader to replace new leader Henry Bolton.

Mr Bolton was elected leader on Friday and has promised to focus on Brexit. It is currently unknown how ‘focusing on Brexit’ will manifest itself, but it’s expected to be largely based around some form of being cross with foreigners.

It is thought that UKIP are working to a timeframe of having another leader in place by a week on Tuesday and then another one a fortnight or so after that.

“Well, we’ve had four leaders this year,” confirmed a UKIP member who is DEFINITELY not racist.

“So that’s, what, one every two months? We’re going to need at least two more by the end of the year and it’s always a bugger to find a UKIP leader in the run up to Christmas as everyone’s busy with drinks parties and getting angry about fictional Muslims banning chipolatas.”

“If we crack on now, by the time Henry either clears off to get a proper job, we’ll have another shortlist in place and ready to go.”

It is thought that the next leader will be him off Gogglebox, and then two weeks later he’ll be replaced with a weird bloke in the pub who fiddles with himself when the barmaid bends over.

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