Monday 2 October 2017 by Pete Redfern

EasyJet celebrates not being crappest UK airline


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EasyJet are getting out the budget champagne today to celebrate definitely not being the worst UK aircraft operator in the wake of the collapse of Monarch Airlines.

Just a couple of weeks after Ryanair was forced to cancel thousands of flights due to mismanagement of pilot holidays, Monarch Airlines has today been put into administration leaving thousands of customers stranded and holidays ruined, making EasyJet officially the least bad of the crappy trio.

The news has come as a relief to regular butt of aviation jokes, EasyJet, who are today proclaiming their success over Ryanair and now Monarch in terms of relative unpopularity among British customers.

“Not such a crap airline now, are we?” smirked EasyJet spokesperson Simon Williams.

“With Monarch out of the way and Ryanair struggling to manage annual leave scheduling the world is our oyster.

“Sure, you’ll still have to fight over who sits where on our flights, pay exorbitant surcharges to put luggage in the hold, and we will never fly out of Heathrow, but if you want to travel from A to somewhere vaguely near B inside an aeroplane then we’re the airline for you.”

Ryanair have hit back at the claim, insisting that for the dozen or so Ryanair flights that will be operating between now and next July, the service will be second to none and they might even consider not charging customers to use the toilets in an attempt to win back public support.

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