Wednesday 27 September 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Jeremy Corbyn closes out conference speech with rousing chorus of “Money, Cash, Hoes”


Jeremy Corbyn closes out conference with Jay-Z track

Jeremy Corbyn surprised everyone today by banging out a Jay-Z track.

The leader of the Labour party and typically modest allotment owner made a rare break with his reserved character to sing lines such as “I’m tryin’ to restore the feelings fuck the law keep dealing, more money more cash more chilling”.

“Then he launches into the chorus, which is basically “money, cash, hoes” shouted repeatedly,” confirmed conference attendee, Simon Williams, “it’s a very deep and meaningful song.

“The crowd weren’t really into it at first – I think they were generally more of a Coldplay audience.

“But after a few lines of the chorus, they got what the words were, and started joining in, waving their hands and clapping along – I think somebody even threw a bottle of water into the air, which was probably a bit too much excitement.”

A spokesperson for Jeremy Corbyn said, “Jeremy wanted to reassure the financial community that he actually does like money very much indeed.

“And what better way to reassure a group of predominantly white, stuffy, rich men than with a 1998 track by a black hip-hop artist who was all about sticking it to the system?

“As for the ‘hoes’ part, Jeremy hadn’t heard the slang term for ‘prostitute’ before and thought it referred to the gardening tool, which struck a chord with him as an allotment owner.”

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