Tuesday 26 September 2017

UK Brexit negotiating team exhausted after spending day chanting ‘We can do this’


David Davis Brexit negotiating position

Brexit Minister David Davis has led his team in a rousing four-hour chant of ‘We can do this!’ as part of the latest round of Brexit negotiations.

After hearing the success of the tactic in the NHS, Davis was inspired to have his team of crack negotiators give it a go.

As one member of the Brexit department told us, “David seemed to think it helped NHS managers in their quest to meet unachievable targets, so why not give it a go?

“I mean, we’re not fighting to keep sick people alive with ever decreasing budgets, but we are fighting to keep our self-respect in the face of ever more ridiculous demands from ‘the people’.

“Seriously, if you thought the managers setting NHS targets were arseholes, you should see what the ‘will of the people’ will have you doing.

“I’m just about hoarse, but it made a nice change to be humiliated behind closed doors instead of while being sat opposite our EU adversaries.”

David Davis told reporters, “People will no doubt mock my plan, but every time we so much as open our mouths in front of the EU negotiating team, our position gets worse.

“So by spending four hours in a locked room chanting at ourselves with increasing desperation, we’ve actually found ourselves in a better position than we would have otherwise been.

“See, it’s working already!”

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