Monday 25 September 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Labour to cut credit card debt by keeping credit cards away from morons


man credit cards

Labour will announce a law today that demands an intelligence test before handing a debt-grenade to an idiot.

With credit card debt at record levels, Jeremy Corbyn’s House of Hippy-Hippy-Shake has insisted that credit cards need to be kept away from the kind of person who would use £3,000 of borrowed money at 34.5% interest to buy a television.

“We need a test that detects a level of fiscal responsibility beyond the idea of blowing £400 you don’t have on some shoes,” confirmed Labour economic spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“We gave someone a sample test, and when asked what their first financial priority was, they simply replied ‘getting hammered’, and that person has three credit cards.

“Not only that, it looks like he’s the MP for Leighton Buzzard.”

Moron, Jay Cooper, said, “I am absolutely opposed to this.

“It is absolutely my right to blow £5000 on collector’s edition video games and financially cripple myself for the foreseeable future.

“I’m bloody furious that the Labour party are seeking to help me out of the enormous hole I’m digging for myself.”

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