Sunday 24 September 2017

NFL players told they could earn Donald Trump’s respect with tiki torches and white supremacist songs


NFL players take a knee

NFL players criticised for kneeling during the national anthem have been given tips on earning the respect of their president.

With many players and fans expected to protest against Trump at the start of the NFL season, experts in pacifying children have given suggestions on the best way to win the President over.

Child psychologist Chuck Williams told us, “Look, if you want to silently take a knee during the national anthem to protest against the treatment of some of society’s most vulnerable groups, Donald Trump is going to call you a son of a bitch and want you fired – that’s just the way it is.

“But if you want him to call you ‘some very fine people’, then you need to stock up on tiki torches and learn the words to a few white supremacy songs.

“I don’t know how you sing a white supremacy song during the national anthem, and the flames might be a health and safety issue, but lighting them up would certainly put an end to Donald Trump criticising you.

“Hell, he’ll even defend you in the press if they start criticising your behaviour. When he likes you, he really likes you.”

A White House spokesperson told reporters that claiming tiki torches would be enough to earn NFL players the respect of the president was “utter nonsense”.

“Most of them will still be black,” they added.

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