Saturday 23 September 2017 by Gary Stanton

Ryanair asks Uber drivers if they’d like to try flying a plane


Uber drivers hired by Ryanair

Ryanair boss, Michael O’ Leary, is seeking to recruit newly-unemployed Uber drivers with a head for heights, it has emerged.

The chirpy Irish entrepreneur has shrugged aside safety concerns, insisting if you can taxi around London, you can taxi down a feckin’ runway.

O’ Leary is offering the contracts on a work-when-you-can basis and claims the job should appeal to anyone used to eating shit food in a confined space.

Under the scheme, Uber drivers already familiar with quick turnarounds, will receive a crash course in basic aeronautics and how to deliver weather reports in a non-sexually threatening manner.

O’ Leary said, “Modern piloting is ten percent button-pressing and ninety percent selling scratch cards.

“We’d like to hear from former Uber employees who learn fast and don’t have a problem with dropping customers off many miles from their requested destination.”

Former Uber driver and newly-qualified pilot, Simon Williams, said, “We are currently cruising at 37,000 feet, but a pretty girl like you doesn’t want to worry about that.

“Just relax, enjoy the flight and stretch out those shapely legs of yours.”

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