Saturday 23 September 2017

Ratings agencies failing to take into account UK’s huge rise in sovereignty, insists Brexiter


Man angry at UK being downgraded

After Moody’s downgraded the UK’s credit rating to Aa2 following Theresa May’s speech in Florence, Brexiters have accused rating agencies of failing to understand the power of sovereignty.

“Sovereignty is what makes the world go round,” explained Leave voter Brian Williams.

“These so-called experts go on and one about ‘poor economic indicators this’ and ‘off-course debt reduction plans that’, but what they fail to realise is that everything is going brilliantly because of sovereignty.

“Why they don’t factor sovereignty into their credit rating calculations is beyond me, it’s almost like they think sovereignty doesn’t really mean anything beyond giving jingoistic chest-beaters something to shout about while everything around them crumbles.

“Which is obviously rubbish, because despite what economists tell you Britain is brilliant, everything is fine, everything will be great, and you all need to get over it!”

Moody’s have defended the move to downgrade the UK, despite criticism from Brexit supporters, insisting that the important decisions they make are never influenced by what they read on a bus.

A spokesperson for the firm told us, “Downgrading a country’s credit rating is not something we do lightly. We look at all factors that affect the nation’s financial health, to ensure we accurately reflect their risk to potential partners and investors.

“That includes all economic factors and the overall political landscape.  What that doesn’t include, is things that don’t actually mean anything, like absurd platitudes designed to give simpletons a warm fuzzy feeling in their bellies.”

“If you genuinely think your perceived sovereignty is something that should make you more economically viable, I strongly suggest you try paying your mortgage with it.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt here!

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