Thursday 21 September 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Man who wants sponsorship for staying sober definitely doesn’t have a drink problem


Man drinking getting sponsored

One of your colleagues wants you to sponsor him to not drink, which is apparently a healthy indicator.

Simon Williams, 32, went around the office with a sponsorship form this morning.

“I’m going to not drink for a month,” confirmed Williams.

“It’s either going to be really easy, in which case it’s not much of a thing to sponsor, or it’s going to be really difficult, which should tell me I have a drinking problem.

“I think it’s going to be really difficult because I like to/need to have at least one can of beer every evening, but that doesn’t make me an alcohol addict, because I’m not drinking it out of a brown paper bag on a park bench.”

One of your other colleagues, Jay Cooper, said, “I have absolutely no problem in giving to charity, but I ran a marathon last month.

“I reckon things like that are more in the spirit of sponsorship, rather than asking for money in return for doing something that is only difficult if you’re an alcoholic.

“Having said that, it means Simon won’t be coming to the pub after work, which will be nice.”

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