Thursday 21 September 2017 by Arabin Patson

“Judges can kiss my clit!” says defiant outlaw Amber Rudd


Amber Rudd

In a Skype interview from an undisclosed location, notorious criminal and Home Secretary Amber Rudd was unrepentant about violating a court order and deporting a man to his imminent death.

Rudd said, “You think I give a toss about some piece of paper? I’ll deport any cunt I want and I don’t care if your family was in the fucking Domesday book. This is my manor and I decide who stays and goes, not some poof in a wig. Little bitch with a sob story thinks he can grass me up to the Bench and walk tall? Fucking right I sent my G4 crew and bounced that little snitch to Kabul.”

Ms Rudd referred to her increasing use of G4S , a famously lawless outfit connected with instances of theft, assault, sexual abuse and several violent deaths.

Asked if she was frightened at the prospect of a custodial sentence, Ms Rudd made a hissing sound through her front teeth.

“Jail? Please! I build them and I pay the screws. I’ve lived through Tory Party leadership struggles. Doing a stretch is a holiday compared to that. Besides, the Old Bailey won’t do jack. If they so much as look at me funny, we’ll get the Mail to label them enemies of the people. Shit them right up.

“Also, we run the probation services. We know exactly who’s tasty and who’s got a bad grudge. We’ll see if the judges like to talk about injunctions when some hard-case with a claw hammer shows up at their gaff.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: