Thursday 21 September 2017

Baby name survey shows ‘Nigel’ is the new ‘Adolf’


Nigel Farage Adolf Hitler baby names

The name ‘Nigel’ has gone the way of ‘Adolf’ for some unknown reason, with no children whatsoever being called Nigel last year.

With the latest baby name survey released, many middle-aged white men have been shocked to find that no babies were given the name Nigel in 2016.

Naming consultant Simon Williams told us, “There are lots of Nigels still around these days; Havers, Mansell, Planer – so I have no idea what it is about the name Nigel that has suddenly stopped people giving the moniker to their male children.

“The last time a name dropped off the charts so dramatically was the name ‘Adolf’, and even then we get the odd lunatic still using it.

“I don’t know what it is, but it seems parents believe that giving their baby the name Nigel is the worst possible thing they could do to it.”

59-year-old Dave Smith told us, “I don’t get it. Names don’t get more patriotic than Nigel.

“It’s right up there with George and Winston. For some reason, younger parents seem to think that giving their child the name Nigel will create a lifetime of hints at a self-publicising divisive arsehole.”

“Whereas I just think of good things with that name; like fags, booze and chucking out the foreigners.”

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