Monday 18 September 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Wile E. Coyote identified as ISIS bomb maker


Wile E Coyote

Police arrested Wile E. Coyote in the early hours of this morning.

The bumbling cartoon character, who previously only targeted the elusive roadrunner, was given up by his ISIS accomplices and named as chief bomb-maker of the rather shit bomb that went off on a London tube train.

“We raided Mr Coyote’s Corydon flat in the early hours of this morning.” confirmed Officer Simon Williams.

“Upon our entry, the animal held up a small placard that read “YIKES!” before sprinting through a wall, leaving a coyote-shaped hole.

“Luckily our officers were on the other side of the wall with a butterfly net, fully prepared for this scenario having watched the cartoons as young men.

“Our forensics team found large amounts of ACME explosives, massive red rockets with fuses coming out of them, and boxing gloves on springs.

“As per the bomb found on the London tube, all of these devices were tremendously bad in their build quality, to the extent that they would probably do more damage to the user than the intended target.”

A spokesperson for Mr Coyote said, “Wile E. absolutely denies these charges, and maintains that these devices are for very, very specific hunting purposes only.

“He has no sympathy with ISIS whatsoever; even a cartoon coyote that habitually falls from clifftops can see they’re a bunch of morons.”

A longtime acquaintance of Coyote was asked to comment but simply said “Meep meep”.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: