Friday 15 September 2017 by Pete Redfern

North Korea asks United States to move a little bit closer


NOrth Korea wants US to move closer

North Korea has asked if the United States of America could move a little bit closer to their missile launch sites, please.

Following the launch of another missile by the rogue nation yesterday, which saw the projectile flop hopelessly into the sea like so many before it, leader Kim Jong-un has sought to find another way to bring America within reach.

Kim Jong-un made the request via state-operated news organisation DPRK News this morning, proclaiming “Our great country has the most powerful rockets and awe-inspiring weaponry in the world!

“We will hold power and dominion over every other land, just like we win every football World Cup tournament and secure all the gold medals in every Olympic event.

“However, even our magnificent weapons can only go about 4,000km, leaving America still 6,000km out of reach.”

Staring directly at the camera and quivering with rage he added, “We demand that America move closer to our great land! You cowards have been sailing your land mass away from our land mass for too long, and if you had any courage at all you would come closer and meet us head on.

“3,000km or less would be ideal. Thank you.”

US President and bloated joke Donald Trump is understood to be considering the request, and will respond just after he has had a chance to look at a map to see exactly where that little country is located.

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