Tuesday 12 September 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Idiot parents reminded that small children are confused by EVERYTHING


couple confused by transgender child at school

Small children are confused by basically everything, the nation was reminded today.

The announcement comes following reports that Mr and Mrs Fuckerson of Time Wasters Avenue, Twatsville, are to sue a primary school for letting a transgender child wear a dress and therefore “confusing” their child.

“You ever tried telling a six-year-old about volcanoes for the first time?” asked Primary School teacher, Simon Williams, “they basically go ‘whaaaaat’ and won’t believe you for a good hour. Exploding mountains are pretty cool like that.

“Teaching children about new and sometimes unusual things is basically why we are here. If your child wasn’t confused by almost everything, school wouldn’t be compulsory. But they are, so it is.

“If you can get your kids to wrap their brains around the concept of Father Christmas, then I reckon teaching them about transgender people would probably take you about ten minutes, which is quicker and cheaper than suing us.”

Parents have largely shared similar sentiments.

“My kid gets confused by a simple request to put his fucking shoes on in the morning” confirmed mother, Mary Bates, “if I had to pull him out of school on the basis he found something ‘confusing’ then he would have been gone the second they got onto six-times tables.

“But that’s partly because he is five and partly because he is his father’s son, and his father is a moron who also can’t do basic maths.

“Despite this, he still managed to wrap his head around the concept of transgender people, because I sat down and spoke to him about it.”

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