Friday 8 September 2017 by Pete Redfern

God using extreme weather to punish gays explains why Brighton gets all those hurricanes, agree experts


Brighton hit by extreme weather

The mystery of why Brighton is regularly destroyed by hurricanes has finally been solved.

Following the claim by a number of US evangelical leaders that the current spate of extreme weather is divine punishment for homosexuality, experts in the UK have finally understood why Brighton is constantly beset by extreme weather events.

Met office spokesperson Simon Fish-Williams told us, “We have always struggled to understand why not a day goes past without the gay capital of Britain being struck by an earthquake, a hurricane, a tornado or a tidal wave.

“It has always seemed odd that, apart from the occasional volcano in Soho, Brighton has been on the receiving end of constant and devastating weather events.

“But now thanks to a unique and divine revelation among a number of US evangelical preachers, the answer has finally been revealed.

“It’s punishment for homosexuality. Of course.”

Brighton resident Christopher James, enjoying a pleasant walk in the sun with his partner, responded, “Well, we did have a few millimetres of rain the other day. And last week there was a bit of a breeze.

“If God is displeased with homosexuality, he obviously can’t be that annoyed, looking at the occasional drizzle we get.

“If there’s going to a link drawn between extreme weather events and human activity, how about looking at the increase in hurricanes since Trump was elected?

“Just a thought.”

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