Thursday 7 September 2017

Yes, less competition is the only thing we need, insist low-skilled British workers on minimum wage


migrant workers minimum wage

Low-skilled British workers on minimum wage have today backed the government’s proposal to make it a bit easier to secure low-skilled minimum wage work.

After a leaked report suggested that the government will focus on having fewer low-skilled migrants looking for work in post-Brexit Britain, many low-skilled British workers have reacted positively to the news.

Casual labourer Simon Williams told us, “The leaked proposals are music to my ears, frankly.

“Yes, there are some left-wing nutjobs out there who will bang on about increasing the minimum wage, removing zero hours contracts and making the jobs we do a bit less shit, but the only thing I really want is fewer job applications coming from Polish blokes.

“That’s because then I will have a much better chance of getting the sort of job that means I can’t look after my family properly.

“Let me tell you, the only thing worse than living below the poverty line, is living below the poverty line because an economic migrant took the crappy job you tried to get.  I would happily live below the poverty line if I knew I’d missed out on a minimum-wage job to another British person.”

The government has defended the proposals, insisting it is doing what’s best for Brexit Britain.

Brexit minister David Davis told us, “We have repeatedly told you that the migration of low-skilled workers is why everything is shit in our country, which is why we look like we’re doing everything we can to stop it.

“Of course, we won’t actually stop it, not until we have our next scapegoat lined up for when you realise that reducing low-skilled migration has not made your life any better whatsoever.”

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