Thursday 7 September 2017 by Alex Marsh

Window poo rescue woman appointed to UK Brexit strategy team


Window poo woman given Brexit role

A woman who had to be rescued by firefighters after becoming lodged in a window following an unsuccessful attempt to hurl away an unflushable stool has landed a key role in planning Britain’s exit from the EU.

UK Brexit lead David Davis said that the woman would be a natural fit for his team.

“This woman possesses a similar strategic acumen, and the ability to quietly and unshowily get the job done,” he said.

The woman was on a first Tinder date when her poo refused to flush. Firefighters were called after her attempts at disposal and then retrieval caused her to be wedged head-first in the bathroom window, subsequent photographs being reproduced in newspapers and on the Internet around the world.

Working in the team with Davis, Liam Fox and Boris Johnson, it is thought that she will add gravitas.

“It is true that the appointee has little experience in international diplomatic negotiations,” admitted Mr Davis. “And her job description will not be requiring her to throw turds out of windows.”

“Just to polish them a little,” he added.

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