Tuesday 5 September 2017 by Neil Tollfree

North Korea Crisis: World united in support of making China deal with all that


China to sort out North Korea

There was a breakthrough at UN discussions on North Korea as everyone agreed that China should probably deal with that.

Jolly despot Kim Jong-un has provoked worldwide condemnation after declaring war on fish and firing several missiles at them.

“This is an incredibly delicate situation that requires a combination of skilled diplomacy backed up with just the right level of military threat,” said a UN delegate last night.

“Frankly, that sounds like an awful lot of hard work, so we’ve decided that the best thing to do is let China deal with all that.”

It is unusual for the notoriously sluggish UN to reach a decision on such an important issue so quickly.

“Well, look, the situation with North Korea is febrile and uncertain. We don’t have the luxury of time on our side here,” continued the delegate

“The UN needed a solution to a difficult problem, so when it was proposed to make China deal with all that, I don’t think anyone wanted to waste time with phoney posturing or grandstanding, we needed this plan ratified immediately. We did so, and now I’m sure we can look forward to China sorting everything out.

“Now, provided no one does anything to upset the Chinese, I literally can’t see anything going wrong with this plan.”

At which point, everyone’s phone made a notification sound after Donald Trump issued a tweet, proclaiming: “China. What a bunch of ass-munchers. They all smell of fish and talk stupid. Screw those guys.”

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