Tuesday 5 September 2017 by Arabin Patson

Dennis Rodman flies to Washington in last ditch attempt to talk down egomaniac intent on war


Dennis Rodman

Following a request by the UN Security Council, Dennis Rodman will meet Donald Trump later this week to try and stop a nuclear conflict.

Whilst mostly known for his basketball prowess and scandalous sex life, Mr Rodman is one of the world’s leading experts at talking down childish egomaniacs who are in positions of power they are woefully unable to handle.

Although there could be some residual tension from Denis Rodman’s firing on the Celebrity Apprentice, it’s believed the two men will bond over their mutual love of “fine-ass white women”.

Seasoned White House observers said that Denis Rodman had his work cut out for him. Simon Williams, of the Washington Post, cautioned against putting too much hope in the celebrity’s peace mission.

“A signed basketball and some nude pictures of nineties Madonna did the trick in Pyongyang, but it’s not necessarily a repeatable formula.

“Kim Jong-un might have been a spoilt dilettante of no discernible talent who surrounded himself with sycophantic toadies, but in other ways he was quite different to Donald Trump. For a start, he wasn’t particularly scared of black people.”

Mr Rodman will present basketball paraphernalia to the US president but also play a few games with POTUS where he will lose by a narrow margin and tell Mr Trump that he should have gone pro.

In addition, the flamboyant athlete plans to teach Mr Trump an elaborate handshake and inform him that he was now a high ranking member of a cool “street crew”.

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