Friday 1 September 2017

Hurricane victims five times less important than Barack Obama’s birth certificate, confirms Trump


Trump donates to Hurricane Harvey

Donald Trump has pledged $1m of his own money to help victims of Hurrican Harvey, which is just $4m short of the amount he pledged to anyone who could give him Barack Obama’s birth certificate.

The President said he hoped his money for the victims of the hurricane would be put to good use, as his track record of following through on charitable donations is ‘absolutely second to none’.

He added that despite claiming to be worth $10bn, there have to be limits to what he can spend his own money on.

He told the White House Press pool, “I have to be careful with those billions. Sure, me donating $1m is like the average American giving $20 to Hurrican Harvey, and yes, they didn’t issue a press release ensuring everyone knows that fact.  But it’s the thought that counts.

“But for me, the really important social issues I should put my considerable personal fortune towards are things like attempting to delegitimising powerful black people.

“Honestly, when it comes to things like that, there is no limit. I publicly offered $5m for the birth certificate, but I would have gone to $50m, no question.

“Seeing Barack Obama out of office would have been worth way more to me than feeding a few thousand more homeless people in Texas, it’s just no comparison.”

Texas resident Chuck Williams said he fully supported the President’s priorities.

He told reporters, “Sure, my house is under eight feet of water, and everything I own in this world is now destroyed forever, but I would sleep more soundly in my homeless shelter camp bed tonight if I knew our president had gotten hold of Obama’s birth certificate.

“Everyone has their priorities, and I’m glad mine align so nicely with the president of our fine nation.”

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