Friday 1 September 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Experts ‘unsure’ if new U2 song heralds the end-times


Bono new U2 single

Global pop stars and legitimate users of tax efficiencies U2 released a brand new song on Wednesday and experts are already feverishly debating whether or not the song heralds the end-times for the human race.

The new song ‘The Blackout’ was released on their Facebook page and, as with all U2 songs, sounds as if it has issued forth from the very bowels of hell the day after hell had a particularly poorly cooked lentil and cabbage curry.

“Well, since the late eighties we’ve become used to every new U2 song potentially being a herald for the end-times,” said U2 and Armageddon expert Simon Williams.

“You just listen to their records and assume that it can’t get any worse than this so the world must be about to end.”

However, ‘the Blackout’ is giving experts such as Mr Williams greater pause for thought.

“Well, taken in isolation, it’s just another U2 song,” he said.

“But, with other global events – Trump becoming President, worldwide catastrophic floods, the demise of Arsenal as a genuine Premier League force – well, you really have to consider that this new U2 song could actually herald the End of Days.”

The new U2 song is available on all major streaming services and is best ‘enjoyed’ as the horsemen of the apocalypse come thundering over the horizon bringing fire and destruction in their terrible wake.

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