Tuesday 29 August 2017 by Davywavy

Daleks declare war on Earth after Davros has his Disability Living Allowance cut


Daleks

The military might of Skaro is to be turned upon the Earth after wheelchair-bound megalomaniac Davros was declared fit for work today.

Davros, who was severely injured and left confined to a chair in a bombing during the Thal war, claimed that the loss of both legs and most of his vision rendered him incapable of seeking full-time employment – a claim disputed in a fitness assessment yesterday.

A spokesman for the Department for Work and Pensions said that Davros was clearly fit for work, as he was filmed invading Metebelis III by a private investigator.

This resulted in him losing his top-up payment of £120 a month and a grant to help with converting his bathroom.

“Look, I hesitate to call a man with an army of deranged pepper pots armed with death-rays a ‘benefits cheat’, but the fact of the matter is that Davros is – as we speak – the Admiral of a fleet of flying saucers bearing down upon our defenceless planet,” said government spokesman Simon Williams.

“That pretty clearly counts as ‘work’ whichever way you look at it,” he added before fizzling in a beam of coruscating energy and falling into lifeless ash on the floor.

Critics of the government have acknowledged that Davros may have a case of Fraud to answer, but suggested that it was ‘short-sighted’ to make the decision on the same week that The Doctor is on strike over his new contract.

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