Monday 28 August 2017 by Arabin Patson

2017 Notting Hill Carnival formally opens with traditional deluge of racist punditry


NOtting Hill carnival racist

The famous London street festival has once again begun with badly written tirades associating petty crime with black culture.

An online persona called EnglishPatriot4life claimed the honour of getting the first bigoted comment of this year’s carnival when he linked it to a month-old stabbing in Croydon.

His misspelt tweet was logged at 0.091 seconds into the minute of silence for the victims of the Grenfell tower disaster, which is a new record.

Many racists see the event as the official end of summer and have been hard at work making tired memes featuring black men fighting next to a picture of a policeman twerking.

Tabloid papers have also helped portray the festival as a violent bacchanal by maintaining a strict 3/1 photo ratio of shirtless men being arrested versus scantily-clad women having fun.

Sunday Express columnist Simon Williams explained that painting a joyful popular event as the Mau Mau Uprising required great skill.

He told us, “Frankly it’s a miracle that a party of 2 million resulted in only 30 arrests. Eastbourne on Tuesday night will see more violence. But chuck in enough drag queens and BME teenagers and I can get the codgers muttering complete bollocks about absent black fathers while eating their Sunday Roast.”

This year also marked the highly anticipated return of the Metropolitan Police Service to unhelpful stereotyping.

On Friday, the Met’s PR department decided to connect the carnival in Notting Hill (W11) to a large seizure in Catford (SE6) of heroin, possibly the only class A drug not popular with party goers.

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