Wednesday 23 August 2017 by Neil Tollfree

North Korea claims responsibility for blocking out sun in US


Eclipse, North Korea

A day after the US had the sun blocked out for several terrifying hours North Korea has claimed responsibility for the act.

From coast to coast on Monday, scared Americans fled to the country in a panic as the sun that sustained them for so long slowly disappeared from the sky.

“I could only think that God was punishing homosexuals like it probably says in one of the secret parts of the bible that no one’s read,” said average American Chuck Williams.

However, it has since emerged that rather than an act of God, it was a fearsome display of North Korean technology.

“Glorious leader Kim Jong-Un has successfully gained control over warmonger empire American sun using a ray,” claimed the North Korean news channel

“Tremble before our mighty sun control ray.”

US ‘President’ Donald Trump wasted no time in responding.

“North Korea needs to stop interfering with our sun,” he said.

“What they do with their own sun is their sun is their business, but if they keep messing with our American sun then, boy, I mean, we’re going to do some…stuff…and it won’t be good stuff, that’s for sure,” he continued before tailing off as if he had no idea where the sentence would go when he started it.

The US Government has issued a reassuring message to all Americans that the sun will continue to circle the earth and there is nothing to be concerned about.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: