Tuesday 22 August 2017 by Pete Redfern

Jacob Rees-Mogg’s nanny preparing to do all Prime Ministerial jobs on his behalf


Jacob Rees-Mogg

With rumours circulating of a possible Tory leadership takeover bid by Jacob Rees-Mogg, his nanny is preparing to take on everything the role involves.

The long-serving nanny to the Rees-Mogg family, Eleanor Gay, is resigning herself to doing all the jobs expected of a Prime Minister when her master inevitably overthrows Theresa May for the top role.

Simone Williams, a lifelong friend of the unfortunate nanny, told us, “Eleanor has been employed by the Rees-Mogg clan for decades, from their humble beginnings as a stupidly rich family to their current state of an even richer family.

“And one thing she has learned is that if there is a job they should be doing but don’t particularly fancy it, then it will be coming her way.

“If Jacob doesn’t want to change a nappy, then he won’t want to go and open a hospital, or speak to actual human beings on the street, will he?

“So Eleanor is bracing herself for doing a load of the unpopular jobs that come with the title of Prime Minister but at which Jacob will most likely turn up his nose.”

She added, “One thing Jacob will be doing though, I’m sure, will be appearing on every episode of the Today program on Radio 4 and Question Time on BBC One between now and his death.”

Jacob Rees-Mogg responded promptly, saying “Well, I’m sure you’ll agree that in my defence, non omnia possumus omnes.”

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