Tuesday 22 August 2017 by Gary Stanton

Donald Trump now blind as well as stupid


Donald Trump staring at the Sun

Following yesterday’s solar eclipse, Donald Trump has become the first world leader to be blinded while in office.

The US President was filmed staring directly at the sun for a number of minutes, before stepping on a nearby rake and knocking himself unconscious.

Together with his daughter, Trump chose to ignore the advice of scientists who postulated a direct link between staring at something very bright for too long and third degree retinal burns.

Fortunately, a contingency plan is in place, and the President has been issued with those all-important nuclear codes in Braille.

Meanwhile, Trump’s loyal supporters took advantage of the temporary blackout to fire up their torches and do a spot of marching.

White House spokesman, Chuck Williams, said, “Our top optician here showed the President a sight chart, but he just kept repeating the letters U-S-A..U-S-A.

“We’re now trying to issue him with a suitable guide dog, but, so far, each one has just growled at him and backed itself into a corner.”

He added, “The guy’s been stumbling around a lot and randomly grabbing hold of people – so no change there then.”

“This morning, I asked him to point to North Korea on a map and he actually did slightly better than before he lost his sight.”

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