Monday 21 August 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“Let us unite and enjoy the destruction of the Sun” declares Donald Trump


Donald Trump thinks sun is going to die today

Donald Trump reckons the sun is actually going to die today.

The President of the United States and bubble-dwelling thundertwat made the declaration via Twitter this morning.

“Sun dying today. Very sad. Many memories, but destruction should be amazing. Let’s unite and enjoy!”

When asked for comment, Trump said, “the sun is going to die today and it’s going to be spectacular, trust me.

“I’ve spoken to scientists, great scientists, the best. They’ve all told me what’s happening today. I’ve got my big coat on so I’m ready to go, folks.”

Scientist, Jay Cooper, said, “ever since he cut our funding in half, we’ve essentially been trolling him.

“We told him that today wasn’t just an eclipse, but the actual annihilation of the sun. His reaction wasn’t to panic or to call a press conference, but to nod and say “right, ok” before making sure the White House had plenty of torches and that all of the radiators were working properly.

“The fact that the end of the sun means the end of life on earth has apparently never occurred to him, which makes it the latest addition to the massive, massive list of things that have never occurred to him.”

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