Sunday 20 August 2017 by Arabin Patson

Zac Goldsmith bravely tweets about how ISIS is controlled by vegan Momentum activists in Shoreditch


Zac Goldsmith on momentum

MP Zac Goldsmith, who might currently be in the Conservative Party, has risked all to highlight how international terrorism was made possible by teenagers who just read Animal Farm and gaunt ex-hippies who talk about Thatcher a lot.

Zac Goldsmith is understood to have asked for police protection after uncovering a monstrous link between a death cult full of thrill-killing rapists and a British left-wing movement that doesn’t like Tony Blair.

The politician’s brave stance has garnered the support of ordinary Britons such as Simon Williams, an unemployed man from Croydon who spends many hours on Reddit. Mr Williams said that Zac Goldsmith had confirmed a long held suspicion.

He explained, “We always thought there was something dangerous about those Momentum types.

“Like that uptight bitch Briony who organises kids to clean up the parks and won’t swipe right.

“How do we know she won’t move on from humming that godawful Corbyn chant and start killing bystanders with Muslim karate?

“But now Zac has cottoned on to her. Her days of talking loudly in council meetings about eco-localism, which is probably code for nerve gas, are numbered.”

Not all right-wing politicians agree that mildly annoying Trotskyites are to blame for terrorist atrocities.

Nigel Farage has blamed the recent mass murder in Barcelona on the EU. Mr Farage recently opined that the killings happened because Europe allowed people from different cultures to mingle. This, in turn, leads inevitably to slaughter unless the mingling was between French waitresses and elderly English populists in which case beautiful things happen.

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