Sunday 20 August 2017

Daniel Craig to return as James Bond after failing to win role of Nigel Farage in Brexit movie


Daniel Craig 007

Daniel Craig has told reporters he only agreed to return as James Bond after producers told him he had not won the role of Nigel Farage in the upcoming Brexit movie.

Craig had expressed reluctance at returning as fan-favourite 007, but finally relented after a 6-month campaign to play Farage met with defeat.

He told entertainment reporters, “Playing Nigel Farage would be a once-in-a-lifetime chance for any actor. To really bring to life the lack of depth in a modern-day populist agitator would be an incredible challenge.

“How do you accurately portray someone so devoid of compassion for his fellow man, while also grinning, holding a pint and a fag?

“Honestly, most of us going for that role were just glad Daniel Day-Lewis has retired.

“I’ve fought on top of a speeding train for my art, but I’m not sure any actor has the range to play someone so rabidly anti-EU while also steadfastly insisting on taking lovers exclusively from that continent.

“Imagine a scene in which you give a rousing speech to British fishermen saying you’ll fight to the death for them, and in the next scene saying you can’t be arsed even to attend the meetings where their fate is being decided.  It would be so draining.

“I’ve seen the first draft of the screenplay, and I think it will be an Oscar-winning role for whoever eventually gets it – though I have to say I think some of the scenes might require an 18 certificate.

“The dream sequence where he tries to climb inside Donald Trump’s anus will be harrowing.”

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