Saturday 19 August 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Steve Bannon to spend time focusing on life-long quest to suck his own cock


Steve Bannon

Following his dramatic dismissal from the White House, ex-chief strategist Steve Bannon has announced that he intends to take some time to work on achieving his life-long ambition of sucking his own cock.

Last Tuesday’s White House communication director Anthony Scaramucci used the 20 minutes he was in the position to reveal the obsession that drives Steve Bannon.

“I am actually pleased to be leaving the White House,” confirmed Mr Bannon.

“Whilst I was proud to help the President win the election, I have found that my time as chief strategist has interfered with the intense programme of mental and physical training I am committed to undertake in order to achieve my life-long goal of sucking my own cock.”

It is understood that Mr Bannon’s peculiar obsession began in his late teens when it became apparent that there wasn’t a creature alive that would be prepared to put Mr Bannon’s penis in their mouth.

Mr Bannon is planning to visit a mystical tribe of ancient Himalayan yoga gurus and spend a year with them training his body to become intensely flexible before moving on to a secret peak in the mountains that overlooks a beautiful and peaceable valley.

It is at this magical place that Mr Bannon hopes to be able to suck his own cock for the first time.

Mr Bannon also hopes to be able to lick his own balls, but as this mental image is probably too much for the average human mind to consider, he has kept this ambition to himself.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: