Wednesday 16 August 2017 by Lucas Wilde

‘Watch Morecambe and Wise until you calm down’ planet told


Couple watching Morecombe and Wise

Absolutely everybody is to watch Morecambe and Wise until they learn to laugh together again.

Following increased racial tension, riots, murders and two world leaders in a race to blow each other up first, planet earth has reached a crisis point.

“So we’re all going to watch that bit where Eric and Ernie make breakfast to the tune of The Stripper,” confirmed UN spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“And when I say ‘we all’, I mean literally everyone. We are going to beam it across the sky over every country across the globe until everyone stops snarling at each other and laughs at Des O’Connor instead.”

Citizen, Jay Cooper, said, “I tried being angry while watching Morecambe and Wise once, but it’s just impossible.

“I was watching the telly and getting all angry about the EU, but then a government broadcast interrupted with the Eric and Ernie skit with Andre Previn, and I just felt nothing but joy and love for absolutely everything.

“Then they sang Bring Me Sunshine, which is probably an entirely appropriate song given everything that’s happening.

“I hope someone can sit Donald Trump down with a box set and show him how joyous life could be.”

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