Tuesday 15 August 2017 by Pete Redfern

Primark actually pronounced ‘Child-labour-mark’


Primark child labour

Primark has settled the debate over how to pronounce their name once and for all.

After years of debate over whether the high street store should be pronounced Pry-mark or Pree-mark, an industry insider has revealed to reporters how the actual pronunciation of the store is surprisingly different to the name familiar to much of the UK’s population.

Simon Williams, who wishes to remain anonymous but is out of luck on that front told us, “The company, that has always been keen to be open and honest, first registered the name ‘Child-labour-mark’ in a Ronseal-esque approach to customers knowing exactly what they were buying.

“However, after no customers walked into the flagship ‘Child-labour-mark’ store for the first two months, it was decided that maybe a name change was in order.”

He explained, “We wanted to let the children involved have a say, but on only 60p per day it was too much to ask for them to come up with a name as well as stitching fabrics together for twelve hours straight.

“So the name ‘Primark’ was stumbled across accidentally following a drunken game of Scrabble, and the debate over how to pronounce it has raged ever since.”

High street shopper and clothes enthusiast, Eleanor Gay, shrugged her shoulders when she heard the news, saying “Doesn’t make a lot of difference – I’ve been calling that shop ‘Cedarwood Shite’ for years anyway.”

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