Tuesday 15 August 2017 by Neil Tollfree

‘No pun intended’ man finally confesses that pun was deliberate


pun intended

A man has confessed that he did actually intend to make a pun, despite claiming that there was ‘no pun intended’.

Simon Williams was in a training meeting at his employers; Harris and Dickenson Solutions limited, when he said that he wanted everyone to be able to ‘Excel at using Microsoft Office.’ After a brief pause, he said ‘no pun intended’.

However, something didn’t sit right with colleague Eleanor Spade.

“It was the way he had this little smile on his face as he said it,” she said.

“I just thought ‘No way, Williams’, you sure as hell intended that. You intended the shit out of that.”

But Ms Spade needed proof before she could act.

“I followed him for the rest of the day. There was some awkwardness whenever he went to the toilet, but it couldn’t be helped.”

She was starting to lose heart when the proof came.

“I was hiding in the linen basket at the bottom of his bed, and he told his wife that the meeting was a little dry and he wanted to make everyone smile.

“I had the bastard.

“I leapt out of the linen basket and confronted him, he burst into tears and confessed; he had intended the pun after all.”

Mr Williams has been arrested and if, as seems likely, he is convicted, could face up to four years in prison.

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