Friday 11 August 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Parents feign interest in daughter’s career for record twenty minutes


Parents feign interest in daughters career

A woman was left stunned after her parents managed to feign interest in her career for a full twenty minutes during a Saturday afternoon visit.

Eleanor Gay was left stunned when, after making her a cup of tea her parents listened politely as she related an amusing, yet informative anecdote about how she was tackling the unreliability of the IT systems at her office at Clarke & Bell’s Solutions ltd.

“Twenty minutes! They actually listened for twenty minutes,” exclaimed Ms Gay.

“At first, I was worried they’d had simultaneous strokes, but they hadn’t. They were just sitting quietly and letting me speak.

“Naturally, as soon as I paused, we got onto more important topics of conversation like how the next-door but one neighbour’s friend has an accent and how they’ve started charging for parking outside the Co-op, even for pensioners.

“But still, twenty minutes of interest in my career? I’ve never felt so validated as a daughter.”

However, Mr Gay has a different take on the situation.

“Christ, I had forty years of office arseholery and jumped up pillocks who thought they were bloody Churchill because the sign on their door said ‘manager’.

“Now, I’m finally shot of it, the last thing I need is the bloody kids boring on about it. I’ve only got a few years left on the bloody planet. How about we spend that time talking about nice things like my garden, that new pudding that Sainsbury’s are doing-”

“It’s Black Forrest,” interjected Mrs Gay.

“Aye, that’s right, Black Forrest. Bloody lovely. Let’s talk about that, or the neighbours, or even the bloody parking at the bloody Co-op. Surely that’s all better than bloody malarkey about IT systems.”

Daughter Eleanor was quick to respond.

“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t really listening to them. Still, twenty minutes of interest in my career. I’m hoping for a full half an hour next time.”

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