Monday 7 August 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Lloyds of London record epic diss track in response to Kanye West lawsuit


Kanye, Lloyds of London

Lloyds of London have responded to a lawsuit issued by Kanye West in the time-honoured tradition of the venerable financial institution; by throwing down fierce rhymes over epic beats in what is thought to be the most devastating diss track to come out of the London Square Mile in years.

Mr West is suing Lloyds over his cancelled tour last year, and Lloyds have responded in no uncertain terms that they are not going to play.

“Kicking in the club with the ac-tu-ar-ies, bitches all quit when they spin Kanye,” it begins, signalling an intention to come back hard at the popular rapper.

There follow several lines of graphic references to Mr West’s genitals and an offer for Mr Simpkins from the investments team to satisfy Mrs West as Mr West must be unable because he’s a ‘has-been f**ker with a limp-ass dick.’

The intention to contest the lawsuit is made explicit with the line – ‘Me and my boys from claims gonna send you down in flames coz you’re a whiney little bitch who can’t play our game.’

The track continues with more references to Mr West’s genitals before ending with the devastating pay-off – ‘We got bowler hats, bitch, you aint’ nuthin to us.’

It is understood that Mr West is unable to respond as he is currently crying in his bedroom like a little girl.

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