Saturday 5 August 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Grateful nation hails hero who pointed out grammar inaccuracy


Happy people thankful for grammar hero

A man has been hailed as a modern-day hero after he pointed out a minor grammar inaccuracy on an Internet article.

Chelmsford man Simon Williams, who should almost certainly be wearing a cape, noticed that a popular article had a semi-colon where there should actually be a colon.

“Look, I think anyone would have done the same thing,” said Mr Williams, modestly.

“I just saw a grammar inaccuracy, I pointed it out. If I’ve helped the thousands of people who may have read the article and seen the semi-colon then, well, I’m just glad they’re okay.”

Initially, the town of Chelmsford had planned to hold a parade in honour of Mr Williams.

“We just wanted to acknowledge the heroism of Simon,” said mayor Stephen Emmsworth.

“We had simple plans to close off the centre of town and a hold a parade featuring local schools in the area all creating giant effigies of Simon to try and tell the story of his grammar-based heroism in papier-mache form, culminating in an unveiling of a 40 foot high statue in Hylands Park – but then things started to escalate.”

Word of Williams’ heroism had reached the highest echelons of Government.

“Well, naturally, we immediately moved to institute Simon Williams Day and renamed London to Simon Williams Town to honour his tremendous achievement,” said legitimate Prime Minister Theresa May.

However, sadly, it was not to be.

“No, ultimately we realised that he’s just a whiney little bitch who really needs to get a life.”

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