Wednesday 2 August 2017 by Pete Redfern

Derek Acorah to help fellow CBB housemates get in touch with their dead careers


Derek Achorah

Derek Acorah has been added to the line up of ‘celebrities’ being confined to the Big Brother house in order to help them get in touch with their much loved but long-expired careers.

It is hoped that the ageing TV medium and psychic might be able to pull his usual trick of making up some bullshit for the more gullible housemates and convince them that their dead careers are back within reach again, all for the amusement of viewers.

Senior producer Simon Williams explained “Obviously the whole ‘medium’ thing is a load of shite – hence why Derek has found himself in this Z-list celebrity hell hole of a spectacle in the first place.

“But some of his house mates might be naïve enough and stupid enough to believe he has genuine powers and that he might be able to help them get in touch with their entirely lifeless careers.

“Which should make for amusing viewing, especially when the housemates realise there is no hope whatsoever for them and break down live on TV. That’s what we’ll be hoping for, naturally. Some sort of on-air breakdown is great for ratings.”

Critics have pointed out that this plan relies on the public being aware of the so-called celebrities, or at least to have heard of them.

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