Monday 31 July 2017 by Arabin Patson

Violence at his book-signing reveals shocking news that Tommy Robinson knows what a book is


Tommy Robinson

Although accustomed to the trail of hatred and brutality that follows EDL founder Tommy Robinson, his association with literature has left the world confused.

Amanda Tinnock, book critic for the Guardian, explained that her profession was not ready to deal with the idea of an EDL author.

“We get that he brawled in an off-licence. That’s routine. We’re not surprised he branched out into sectarian hatred by wearing a Rangers top when Celtic was in town. But him writing a book?

“I mean, what’s the market? A Venn diagram of Tommy Robinson followers and book buffs is just two circles really far from each other.”

EDL member and literary agent, Simon Williams, admitted that the book was aimed at a niche market.

“His oeuvre will mainly be of interest to Proust aficionados who think leaving pig heads on mosque doorsteps is the best method to combat international terrorism.

“Although his third chapter, on why TV presenters wearing headscarves is the greatest threat to England since the Black Death, has some of the piquancy of Tom Wolfe’s early work.

“Speaking for myself, being both a fan of German Romanticism and kicking people in the head, I…….”

Mr Williams did not finish his comment as he was pressed to join several men with close-set eyes in a chant proclaiming that the ‘casuals’ of Luton would never surrender to an Islamic group that operates mainly in Southern Afghanistan.

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