Monday 31 July 2017 by Lucas Wilde

“Scaramucci, Scaramucci, pack your shit and then go” sings Trump


Anthony Scaramucci

Donald Trump has fired Antony Scaramucci after roughly ten minutes on the job.

The Communications Director cum secondary character from the Ocean’s Eleven movies had been in the job for a whopping ten days before doing something embarrassing and cocking it all up, as is the norm for almost any member of President Trump’s team, bar Trump himself, who is only still there as he can’t actually be sacked by anyone.

“Donald spent a good hour thinking how he would sing Antony out of work,” confirmed White House spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“Actually he took up quite a lot of everybody’s time on this relatively trivial matter, which would usually raise eyebrows but we’re kind of numb to such bollocks at this point.

“We had the lyrics down after an hour and then Trump summoned Antony to his office for the firing. He even hired a band at short notice. It was logistically impressive, if nothing else.

“We had to throw in at least one swear word as that’s what landed Scaramucci in the doghouse in the first place. Trump was very clear about that; in fact, he was clearer about this then he has been about anything for a long time.

“I only wish he put as much energy into being President as he did into coming up with jingles for sacking staff members.”

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