Monday 31 July 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Cinema staff couldn’t give a shit about the food you’ve “snuck” in


Snacks for the cinema

The weekend staff of your local cinema aren’t about to tackle you for bringing in food.

Staff at the Reel Deal cinema have made it very clear that they’re there to sell popcorn first, tickets second and to clean up your dreadful mess when you’ve gone.

“That is where my contractual obligation begins, and indeed ends,” confirmed employee, Simon Williams.

“You can stop pretending you’re some kind of genius just because you reckon you’ve got one over on us by sneaking a Mars bar in your coat pocket. You’ve not broken any laws, you’ve only violated a profit-driven rule laid down by my employer which I am not paid nearly enough to enforce.

“So, no, I am not going to get into the absolutely unnecessary quagmire of squaring up to a member of the public with a sense of entitlement, a camera phone and access to social media.

“It’s not that we’ve not noticed the supermarket carrier bag, we just don’t care. So, crack on, just try not to puke it up on the carpet.”

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