Monday 31 July 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Bookies stop taking bets on Diana tapes including phrase “big ears, small cock”


Diana Tapes Channel 4

Bookies nationwide have ceased betting on the late Princess Diana using a very specific phrase in a forthcoming broadcast.

Private tapes of the people’s princess discussing the fallout of her marriage to Prince Charles are to be broadcast by Channel 4 next week, despite complaints from people who will probably make up half of the programme’s viewing figures.

“She’s definitely going to be on the warpath,” beamed a morbidly fascinated Simon Williams.

“I’ve got a tenner on her using the phrase ‘big ears, small cock’. It’s just a no-brainer. That’s definitely what I would say if I’d just had a bitter break-up with the Prince of Wales and I was having a gossip about him in what I was sure was a private conversation that wouldn’t be broadcast twenty years after my death.

“Then I told all of my mates about it and they couldn’t get down the bookies fast enough.”

Bookie, Jay Cooper, said, “I vehemently argued against taking bets on these tapes in the first place.

“Not because of morals; we’re not really in the right business for that. I just thought it sounded stupid.

“We gave Simon odds of 500/1. Since then, we’ve taken over 7,000 bets as the idea spread. When we suspended betting, we were giving odds of 2/7.

“I would say that all of these people should be ashamed of themselves, but I am a bookie, so I can’t.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: