Friday 28 July 2017 by Pete Redfern

Donald Trump is our highest profile alien, reveal Men In Black


Men in black on Trump

A shady government organisation has revealed that Donald Trump is not all he seems to be.

The secret agency, known unofficially at the Men In Black, is tasked with monitoring alien life on earth to ensure the intergalactic refugees behave themselves and also endeavour to keep the aliens hidden from public view.

However, following the behaviour of one particular alien spiralling dangerously out of control, the Men In Black have made the unprecedented move of publicly identifying the individual for the benefit of society.

The shocking announcement was made this morning by Agent S, who told reporters “We pride ourselves on being able to keep any extra-terrestrial life on Earth a secret, but this one has got out of control.

“We have been aware of Donald Trump, or Pssygrbbr, as he is known on his native planet, since he came to Earth around 70 years ago. He is from a species known for their tiny genitals, cruelty and delusions of grandeur, so we knew he would be a tricky one.

“We watched him as he constructed his outer frame of human skin and tried not to laugh as he repeatedly failed to get the hair bit right. But as Pssygrbbr rose through the ranks of real estate and reality TV and into the Presidency, we realised that this was a monster growing rapidly out of control, and with our access to the White House restricted we have to admit that this alien has gone feral.”

He continued, “In fairness, we are surprised that we are having to make this announcement – aside from the inhuman behaviour, sexual perversity and angry rants, you should have all picked up on the doddery way he walks and his fear of stairs and ramps to realise that something wasn’t quite right.

“It is just slightly ironic that ‘Donald Trump’ is focusing so much time and attention on so-called fake news, when in reality he is just a little fellow with tiny genitals hiding behind an ugly, bloated human shell.”

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