Thursday 27 July 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Trump bans transgender people from becoming orange draft-dodging hypocrites with mad hands


Donald Trump to ban transgender people

Comedy President Donald Trump has made a new arbitrary and stupid proclamation to prevent transgender people from becoming orange draft-dodging hypocrites with mad hands.

It follows his previous arbitrary and stupid proclamation that transgender people are no longer able to serve in the armed forces.

For reasons best known to the American people, orange draft-dodging hypocrites with mad hands are now considered appropriate to lead their country, meaning that the President’s stance could have serious implications.

“The President feels that transgender people are a minority that he can push around to boost his own fragile ego and make him feel like a big man,” said White House communications director and 1980s Bond villain henchman Anthony Scaramucci.

“So, he’s going to poke his nose into their business and pick on them for a while for no good reason at all until he finds another minority to be mean about – the Amish, perhaps.”

However, transgender man Simon Williams was sanguine about the announcement.

“Yeah, I would be surprised if there was any ambition within the transgender community to become orange draft-dodging hypocrites with mad hands – or any other community, for that matter.”

Despite Mr Trump’s decision to ban transgender people from becoming orange draft-dodging hypocrites with mad hands or serving in the military, he still appears to be fine with creepy sex-pests holding high-office.

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