Wednesday 26 July 2017 by Lucas Wilde

Transgenders in military would be disruptive, says walking disruption


Donald Trump on transgender military personnel

Donald Trump has made it clear that transgenders aren’t right for the military.

The 45th President of the United States took time out of his busy schedule of personal abuse, casual racism and staring at your wife’s knockers to casually dismiss an entire group of people as not right for the job of shooting foreigners in the head.

“It would be a massive distraction. Bigly. HUGE!” confirmed the President, while watching Fox News for the fifth consecutive hour.

“There’s also the medical costs to consider. There will be costs, trust me. Nobody knows more about trans-peeps than me. And considering we’re about to make healthcare a lot more expensive, it’s gonna be even worse, folks.

“I’m only ok with chicks in the military as they look hot in uniform and it keeps our boys’ morale up, if you know what I mean.

“So yeah, if you’re a dude or a chick then cool. If you’ve been unsure at any time, the coastguard recruitment office is that-a-way.”

General Jay Cooper said, “It’s fine, it’s not like it’s a tense time for global conflict. We don’t need extra soldiers or admin staff that might have come in the form of transgender applicants.

“I’m being ironic. We’re organising a coup. Enough of this shit.”

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