Monday 24 July 2017 by Pete Redfern

England supporters advised to only watch the female squads for best results


Women's Cricket world cup winners

England fans have been told it is in their best interest to support only the female teams during high profile tournaments, after a couple of phenomenal results that the male squads can only dream of.

A great day of English sport yesterday saw the England women’s football squad triumph in their Euro 2017 Group D clash with Spain and the England women’s cricket team win the ICC women’s World Cup, leading experts to advise that when it comes to England competing in sport on a global level, it would probably be best for everyone to just support the female squads.

Dr Eleanor Gay, a GP from Little Arseworth in Berkshire explained “We’ve been saying for a while now that it is not healthy to support the England male squads in these sports.

“The build-up and inevitable defeats routinely lead to stress, raised blood pressure and depression – all things that can be avoided by supporting the female squads instead.”

England supporter Simon Williams told us, “Fair play to those lasses – they have achieved the lads can only dream of by beating Spain 2-0 in a major competition, so we were right impressed.

“I had no idea women played football – it’s never on TV, is it – and only ended up discovering this yesterday when I was channel hopping after my internet went down.

“What a great game. It seems a lot of their success was down to successfully being able to get the ball in the back of the net. I hope the lad’s team takes some notes for Russia 2018.”

In a pub in central London, eight-year-old Simone Williams rolled her eyes when she observed her father’s delight at the football result, saying “See, Dad, I keep telling you. Girls ARE better than boys!”

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