Thursday 20 July 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Controversy as salaries of staff at Little Winkle village library revealed


Village Library

The village of Little Winkle was in uproar yesterday as the salaries of staff at the village library were revealed as part of last year’s ‘Demonization of the village library’ edict.

Full-time librarian Mr Rumbold, 63, was revealed to take a salary of £15,000 per annum.

“The grasping shit,” said angry Little Winkle resident, Simon Williams.

“That’s my bloody taxes going to his fifteen grand, and for what? He just lends people books all day. There is no way a village librarian is worth fifteen grand.”

Mr Williams didn’t even need to compare Mr Rumbold’s salary to other village librarians’ salaries to get an idea of the industry average.

“No, I don’t need to do that, I can just make up an arbitrary judgement in my head.”

Mr Rumbold’s assistant of 29 years, Mrs Allfrey, was revealed to enjoy a salary of £10,000 per annum plus limited benefits.

“I’ll be honest, I used to like Mrs Allfrey,” said Eleanor Gay, a library regular.

“She’d always put the latest Jodi Picoult aside for me and ask after the kids.

“But now I know she’s on ten grand a year, I’m going to set fire to her bins and shit through her letterbox.”

Part-timer Lizzie Heaton has an official salary of £7,000 but is thought to top that up with an additional £300,000 made from running a meth-lab in the third cubicle of the ladies toilets.

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