Wednesday 19 July 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Nation grimly resolves to listen to Chris Evans in attempt to get value for money


Chris Evans BBC licence fee

Everyone has decided to grit their teeth and make an attempt to listen to Chris Evans’ Radio 2 breakfast show to try and get some semblance of value for money after the revelation of his £2.2million pay packet.

The Chris Evans Breakfast show runs from 6.30 to 9.30 on weekdays and is currently enjoyed by both morons and idiots alike.

“Well, I mean, I don’t want to listen to Chris Evans,” said Simon Williams, a normal human being.

“But it does seem like a fairly sizable chunk of my licence fee is going over to him, so I should probably try and get my money’s worth.

“I’ll start tomorrow. No, Monday. Give myself a few days to get used to the idea.”

Mr Williams that his family were initially resistant.

“That’s right, my girl likes Shaun Keveney hilariously pretending to not be a very good DJ on 6music, and my young lad likes to spend the morning watching hardcore pornography on his smartphone.

“I’ve told them, when it’s their money going towards Chris Evans’ celebrity lifestyle, they can choose who to listen to, but when it’s my money then they’ll listen to him whether they like it or not.”

Chris Evans is currently running a week long feature entitled ‘Haribos or Smarties,’ in which people tell Chris whether they prefer Haribos or Smarties.

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