Tuesday 18 July 2017 by Adam Bevan

Palaeontologist bastards still trying to ruin as much of Jurassic Park as possible


T-Rex could only walk

Jurassic Park, a film 65 million years in the making, is still getting torn into by bitter scientists nearly 25 years after its release.

Palaeontologists have today suggested that yet another assumption made in the 1993 Spielberg classic was scientifically inaccurate, as studies suggest the legendary Tyrannosaurus Rex was a walker, not a runner.

The film also features inaccurate depictions of Velociraptors, along with other Dinosaurs, vegetation and Scottish accents.

However, the latest research proves yet another scientific inaccuracy in the film, and researchers say funding for such studies is vital “at least until everybody understands why it’s not allowed to be their favourite film.”

They went on, “The only thing they got right was the fat computer guy.

“And even then, the fact he had passed a driving test by the age of 30 was a stretch.”

 

Hollywood sources have said the next instalment of the franchise will see the T-Rex attack a sporting event full of power-walkers, who fail to escape no matter how fast they waddle away.

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