Sunday 16 July 2017

Fictional time travellers don’t have vaginas, insist morons


Doctor Who Jodie whittaker

Travelling through space and time in a police box requires a penis, according to several Internet morons this evening.

As Jodie Whittaker was confirmed as the new Doctor, lots of angry idiots insisted that the genitals of the Doctor play an essential role in the universe in which he resides.

Fan of made up science fiction television stories, Simon Williams, told us,”Yes I am angry about Jodie Whittaker being made the next Doctor.

“But I’m also angry that they have made me so angry about the lack of a penis in a TV show – which sounds extremely weird when I say it like that.

“But it’s not weird, it’s normal. Yes it is, shut up.

“Just because Gallifrey doesn’t actually exist and time travel isn’t really possible, doesn’t mean the writers can just go around making stuff up about the people they’ve made up.”

“Actually, that’s literally what we can do,” explained one of the show’s writers.

“The Doctor has a long history of not using his penis to resolve issues across time and space, and we’re confident that Jodie Whittaker will have no issues in continuing that fine tradition.”

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